


Silly Love Songs

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bands, Alternate Universe - Music, F/M, M/M, Multi, because apparently two ongoing fics arent enough :D, figrid 4 lyfe, plus bagginshield, this story is so goddamn hard to write, whyyyyyyyyyy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 20:26:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3582813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Middle Earth Mayhem is an annual 'battle of the bands', followed by music enthusiasts all over the world. It always gains a load of media attention, but this year is the competition's twenty-fifth anniversary and Gandalf Greyhame, Show Presenter and Wizard Of The Crowds, is sure to have many tricks up his ironed grey sleeve. Smallest of which is not the involvement of Sons Of Durin, world-famous band and THE biggest thing in Middle Earth.</p><p>All Sigrid can wonder is how she got caught up in this mess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silly Love Songs

**Author's Note:**

> SO THIS IS LIKE THE TEN BILLIONTH TIME I HAVE REPOSTED BUT I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED IT LAST TIME IM REALLY SORRY WOW

**_ARNOR TIMES, WEDNESDAY 9 TH AUGUST 2015 _ ** [ **_www.arnortimes.co.me_ ** ](http://www.arnortimes.co.me)

 

**Middle Earth Mayhem Returns**

**By LINDIR SHEFARALACH**

_This year’s rendition of Middle Earth Mayhem is set to be the biggest yet, with old favourites, new stages and tantalising tidbits returning for the twenty-fifth anniversary of the biggest battle of the bands to ever exist._

_From the seventeenth of July, thousands have been flocking to Edoras, Rohan, to view the first stage of the hugely popular championship. The silver anniversary of the Erebor-based tournament aims to test the musical skills of up-and-coming ensembles in a series of stages, pitting the bands against each other in an often drama-riddled struggle – the next big stars of our generation will undoubtedly be among the competitors._

_The results of the currently-in-motion auditions are set to be announced next week, and the world is waiting with bated breath for news of the twenty-five bands competing for the revered Arkenstone. Tension is only increased by the number of tantalising hints dropped by Gandalf Greyhame, original founder of Middle Earth Mayhem and show coordinator._

_“This will of course be one of the biggest shows yet, if not the biggest,” Greyhame, 62, announced last night in an exclusive interview with Elrond Half-Elven. “We will feature no less than five stages, along with a number of extra performances and half-stages. A small number of additional attractions have been put into play this year – we are sure it will increase attendance and hype. Indeed, we are very excited about this years’ event.”_

_Rumours have been flying around the ‘additional attractions’ mentioned in the cryptic interview – not the least the incredibly delicious tidbit of Sons Of Durin being one of this years’ competitors. Only those currently residing under a rock would be unfamiliar to Sons Of Durin, and all would certainly be acquainted with Oakenshield’s most popular member, Thorin Durinson. Durinson’s nephews Philip and Killian, more widely known by their stage names Fili and Kili, are the founders and frontmen of Sons Of Durin. They seem on the road to earning, if not eclipsing, their uncle’s fame; their most recent album ‘Khuzdûl’ topped the charts worldwide for three weeks._

_When asked about this juicy rumour, Greyhame simply ‘twinkled mysteriously’ and refused to either confirm or deny the words._

_A second equally juicy tale speaks of the involvement of Azog And The Defilers, Oakenshield’s old adversary. Azog Dagalur, lead singer, was rumoured to be Thorin Durinson’s ‘nemesis’ by close family; whispers of a brawl between the two have long been tantalising to fans of MEM, and indeed any who enjoy some spicy gossip._

_The entire contest will be documented on Lorien Live; an exclusive interview with newscaster Galadriel Artanis, packed with extra inside information, is available on page 6. A limited number of MEM tickets are available for booking at_ [ _www.ironhills.com_ ](http://www.ironhills.com) _._

**_For more information on Middle Earth Madness turn to page 5, and for an entire biography of Gandalf Greyhame turn to page 9._ **

****

-*-

****

**_ARNOR TIMES, THURSDAY 17 TH AUGUST 2015 _ ** [ **_www.arnortimes.co.me_ ** ](http://www.arnortimes.co.me)

 

**Competing Bands Announced**

**By LINDIR SHEFARALACH**

 

_Social media was overloaded today, as the twenty-five bands competing in this years’ execution of Middle Earth Mayhem were announced only hours ago. A brief recap of the band competition’s rules and regulations can be viewed **on page 4.**_

_Fresh off the mark, here is a brief overview of the top ten favourites for this year’s victor._

_-_

**_10: MASTERS OF LAKETOWN_ **

**_A band composed of four members, the Masters’ signature blend of old-style rock, country, and ancient tunes is fairly well-known. Their most widely acclaimed tracks include ‘Peasants,’ ‘Draughty Old Houses,’ and ‘Pass the Brandy.’_ **

**_-_ **

-

**_9: WITCH-KINGS OF ANGMAR_ **

**_One of the larger groups in the competition, Witch-Kings of Angmar is composed of nine members, alternatively referred to as ‘the Nazgûl’ or ‘Ring-Wraiths.’ Their extreme brand of death metal may not sound for all, but there is something about this band that draws one in. Interestingly, they are managed by Sauron Annatar, CEO of Mordor Records, Inc. Most famous tracks include ‘Rings of Power’ and ‘Menace Of Despair.’_ **

**_-_ **

-

**_8\. VANIMA_ **

**_The only group on our top 10 list to be composed entirely of Elves (residents of the Mirkwood-Rivendell area) Vanima’s soothing, melodic sound is sweet to the ears. A scandal surrounded this band five years ago; its three youngest members transferred to an alternate non-Elven band, the first ever Elves to do so. Vanima is managed by cousins Elrond Half-Elven (see page 7) and Thranduil Oropherion (page 6). Their most widely acknowledged songs include ‘Vanya Sulie,’ ‘Vanimle Sila Tiri’ and ‘Amin Mela Lle.’_ **

-

-

**_7\. HORN OF GONDOR_ **

**_Frontmen Boromir and Faramir Steward, sons of Denethor Steward (Gondor’s Stewards), founded this popular rock/pop band. Rumours of familial discord are fairly common, but never confirmed. ‘The White Tower’ and ‘Sword, Shield and Dagger’ are their most acclaimed records._ **

-

-

**_6\. DUNEDAIN_ **

**_The only band in this list with no manager, Dunedain is a mid-rock group originally titled ‘Rangers Of Middle Earth.’ The well-known single artist Aragorn Elessar, previously known as Strider, brought the band together two years ago. Dunedain’s most famous tracks include ‘Shards Of Narsil’ and ‘Barahir’s Ring.’_ **

**_-_ **

-

**_5\. MERRY AND THE HOBBITS_ **

**_An immensely likeable band, Merry and the Hobbits is one of the few bands on this list composed on both male and female members. This folk/pop group certainly has huge amounts of charm and is always well-received by the audience. ‘The Party Tree’ ‘Elevensies’ and ‘Mission…Quest…Thing’ are their most popular songs._ **

-

-

**_4\. DERNHELM_ **

**_A fairly new band, Dernhelm is one of the most mixed groups on this list; composed of both males and females, Elves, Men and even a Hobbit, Dernhelm’s wide range of genres is certainly a step forwards in the music industry. Controversy surrounds the three Elven members, who are the very same transfers from Vanima; manager Bilbo Baggins, well-known for his famous shouting match with Thorin Oakenshield (see page 3) also raised eyebrows with his decision to adopt all six band members. Popular tracks include ‘Shieldmaidens’ and ‘Ride With Me.’_ **

**_-_ **

**_-_ **

**_3\. ROHIRRIM_ **

**_Vigorously denying the dismissive title of ‘boy-band’, Rohirrim employs a spirited blend of pop/rock to drive their audience wild. Lead singer Éomer Éadig is, interestingly, the estranged half-brother of Éowyn Baggins, lead singer of Dernhelm; possibly a fact that will result in an increase in this already drama-filled year. The Rohirrim’s most widely-acclaimed tracks include ‘Red Nightfall’ and ‘Gúthwinë (Battle-Friend)’._ **

**_-_ **

**_-_ **

**_2\. AZOG AND THE DEFILERS_ **

**_Azog and the Defilers’ history is filled with drama, rumours and intrigue. Lead singer Azog Dagalur was even rumoured to be the reason behind Thror Durinson’s heart attack (grandfather of Thorin Durinson) and his son Thráin Durinson’s resultant descent into madness (page 8). The Defilers created a patented brand of death metal, called ‘Orcish’ metal. Similar to the Witch-Kings of Angmar, there is something about them that invites interest; perhaps because they share managers, both being formed by Sauron Annatar. The Defilers were a favourite for the bronze anniversary of Middle Earth Mayhem; they were pegged to win the tournament, until Oakenshield stepped in with an inspirational performance for the final round. Ten years later, Gandalf Greyhame (see page 11) has once more allowed them to join. Azog and the Defilers’ most popular songs include ‘Beheadings At Azanulbizar,’ ‘War Is Coming,’ and ‘The Scent Of Fear (Nuzdi Gast)’._ **

**_-_ **

**_-_ **

**_1\. SONS OF DURIN_ **

**_And finally we arrive to the pegged favourite! It is, of course, Sons Of Durin. Rumours were confirmed, fans were ecstatic and seats were sold out at record speed when the band list was revealed. Lead singers Phillip “Fili” and Killian “Kili” Durinson remain two of the most available bachelors in Middle Earth, and with the news that Thorin Durinson himself will be there – he is the manager of the band, after all – ticket sales will undoubtedly hit the roof. Sons Of Durin formed just two years ago, and have enjoyed incredible success rates and sell-outs on world tours, as well as huge amounts of media attention. Their electric mix of rock and pop never fails to make the audience scream; when combined with their thousand-if-not-million dollar equipment, spot-on playing and of course the dazzling tones of the Durinson brothers, it is implausible that Sons Of Durin would come out anything other than on top. Best-selling tracks include, and are definitely not limited to, ‘I Will Not Hide,’ ‘Watch The Ponies’, ‘One Last Time’ and of course their most famous track ‘Khuzdûl.’_ **

**_-_ **

**_-_ **

_Along with the names of the bands participating, some details on the five stages were released. As always, no original song can be used in the stages (aside for the half-stages) and all bands must adhere strictly to the MEM rules (see page 4)._

_The first stage is fairly run-of-the-mill, with the bands able to choose any song they wish, in whichever genre they desire; voting is performed by the audience, and the five least-voted bands are eliminated._

_The second stage occurs a fortnight after the first, and is slightly more unusual; a song is chosen by the judges, and in an interview Gandalf Greyhame, show coordinator, cryptically mentioned that he would be “specifically selecting certain songs to achieve amusing means and ends.” Arbitrating will be performed by the judges, and again the bottom five will be dropped, leaving fifteen bands to travel on to the next stage._

_Details on Stage Three are slightly hazier, with only rumours providing information; the single clue is a brief remark by Galadriel Artanis that the stage will include “uncharacteristic elements.” We can only be pacified by the knowledge that Greyhame will undoubtedly bring his own special touch of magic to the proceedings._

_On the final two stages no definite information has been disclosed, though hazy rumours of “solos” and “mixings” have been hesitantly circulated._

_Half-stages will, as always, be carried out; usually kept private and unseen by audiences, journalists and TV crews alike, the half-stages are portrayed as “fun, informal occasions that allow the musicians to let off steam and let out inner turmoil, as well as get to know each other.” This mysterious quote, dating two years back from Greyhame himself, allows us a misty peep into the intriguing realm of the half-stages._

_The world could not be more impatient for the eleventh of September to roll around; with little under a month to go, and hype increasing daily, there are high hopes for the silver anniversary of Middle Earth Mayhem. With the return of Azog and the Defilers, familial tension between bands and managers, old feuds and new stars, and of course the involvement of Sons Of Durin, it will surely live up to expectations._

_MEM is as much about the drama as it is the music, and with both set to be exceptional this will certainly be an incredible year._

**_A limited number of tickets are still available on_ ** [ **_www.ironhills.com_ ** ](http://www.ironhills.com) **_, and Lorien Live’s documentary begins 7 th November on Channel 9._ **

 

 


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